Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Something worth writing about

The other day was Valentines. The best Valentines I've ever had, and this is why.

Tbh, I'd been a bit useless pre valentines. Didn't care much about what we did, cause I knew I was seeing shob and that was all that mattered really. I figured we'd go to a restaurant, possibly see a film, boom. Perfectly lovely date.

So, while this would usually be a fair view to take, it was valentines, and as a boyfriend I had yet to step up in terms of bringing the romance. So Shob took on the task. Aaaand smashed it.

She told me to dress warm and meet her at Waterloo at half 4. Already it's exciting.

I get there and she turns up encumbered with bags of stuff. And leads me to the South Bank, near the London eye. Up on the terrace of the national theatre, there were two rows of deck chairs, and a few people milling about. In honour of valentine's day the national theatre were projecting the black and white rom com 'The apartment' onto the side of a building, for free.

We sat in two of the deck chairs, and as it was getting dark, the place filled up. All of the 50 or so chairs were filled, then the floor in front of us, and the balconies, and up the sides. We were wrapped in blankets, protected from the rain by two umbrellas propped up between the chairs, we had Irish coffee and chocolate, and she'd brought flasks of soup, and sweets. All around us were couples huddled under umbrellas and blankets, staring up at the movie, that turned out to be really really good.

We left a little before the end, as my feet were actually painful with the cold, and sat inside, had soup, then went home.

The next day we went out for breakfast, and spent the rest of the day watching iplayer and looking through her old school photos. Generally messing about, and laughing tons

When I left, I felt so so confident in us. The certainty of us, of wanting us, hadn't been so strong for ages. Just knowing that there was no one else you'd rather be with, that you didn't want to leave, that you knew you were about to start days of missing someone. It was sad but brilliant. And definitely the best valentine's I've ever had.

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Yes it's a new blog.

I'm back again, after failing massively at any consistent, long term, regular blogging.
Although I've been facebooking, tweeting,formspringing, tumbling and being on msn..I feel my presence online has been somewhat lacking.

Anyway. I'm still here, still good. My exams went well, and I now have 2 unconditional offers and one conditional offer. I'm on a gap year, with a part time job that keeps me in a little cash. It's all good.

I'm loving getting to sleep in, and choosing how to spend my time. Need to get onto a job soon.

I'm suddenly completely at a loss to what to write here. I mean, what interests people? The tiny bits about my life? A general overview? The detail? My thoughts? A constant ramble about my feelings? I really don't know.

Starting to question whether there's any point in this, but..if people want it, or read it, here it is.
I hope you're all well.
I am.

Dear Love-
I hope Canada is beautiful.
I hope you rise to your feet
every time she sings her anthem.
I hope your hand is forever on your heart.
I hope your heart is forever safe.
Here at home
they are saying Obama
is not the saint we had hoped he’d be.
I wonder if you’d notice
that Michelle is still in love.
Love is the only war worth dying for, Derrick Brown

When the yearning for love haunted her,
taught her how heavy the hollows are,
how crippled a memory can make you.
How sometimes she cried so hard,
her throat blocks out all the noise
Jean Heath, Buddy Wakefield

Friday, 25 December 2009

It's Christmas

and I'm very much in love.

More filling in of the past will come later.

But for right now that's all that's important.

It's Christmas and I'm in love.

She's magnificent. And really, that's all that matters.


Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Dear Blog.

..Just writing to let you know I've been thinking of you.

I know we don't spend as much time together as we used to, but I've been so busy. I know that's what you're here for. To share things with, to hear about my day, and all my thoughts, but sometimes I just want to forget about the day and sleep. I get so wrapped up in my life sometimes I have no time for you. In fact, I wonder if really you're just a product of my self indulgence. I know at the beginning we seemed like such a good idea, but now I'm finding less and less time for you. Don't worry though. I'm not giving up on us. You've been there for me for years, and some time apart will only make my next post more exciting.

Anyway, just to say some interesting things have been going on with me, I got contact lenses, an unconditional offer from Royal Holloway, which I'm very happy about, and new shoe laces (which i'm also very happy about, and in many ways were a more pressing concern than university places).

I've been working tons, and finding no time to revise. =[
But I've been earning lots =], meaning I have money to buy people Christmas presents =].
I have a really bad pain in the top of my right foot when I walk for more than 10 minutes, which I think is just a certain pair of shoes, but i'm worried it's a damaged tendon or something. It's quite uncomfortable. I'm almost definite it's the shoes though.

I've been trying to not let my jealousy get the better of me lately, and enjoying simple acts of friendship. Catching up and chatting. It's nice to know there's so many people I can turn to, even when I just want to know they're their, so if anything big came along, I wouldn't be alone.

I had an amazing weekend at Siobhan's. I'm so so in love. And that's scary, blog. But it's true. There's no way out without heartbreak. So here's hoping there's no leaving at all. Loving being all swept up in the whole thing.

Anyway.I really should sleep now, it being half 2 and all. Work tomorrow.
I'm not cheating on you, but i have been checking out tumblr. It  looks arty. You'll always be here for me though, fulfilling my base needs of rant and ramble.

You're a good friend blog. And although your spelling is sometimes awful, we have Rob, so that's ok.

Speak soon.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Monday, 7 December 2009

Poetry too

Continuation from last blog. Poetry this time though.

'The day they make me gorgeous,
I want to just hang around.
Like a ceiling fan mounted upside down,
I'll only have 3 settings,
and all of them will seem to suck air out of the room'
-Gorgeous- Rives

'And then I'll whisper: "Hey.
The yonder is just as wild and blue
as people say it is today.
And you can't see,
but honestly I love you. I love you.
And I'm gonna keep you mine
like a crow loved to hold
an old telephone line, remember those?"

And you'll say:
"What, crows?"

And I'll go:
"Noo--telephone lines!
Remember? Back in the days
when the bedding was yours
but the bed was mine.
You remember that, Sunshine?'

'I wrote:
Just so you know--

My weird mind wanders and my brave heart breaks.
I've nailed some milestones, but I've made mistakes,
Cuz I got more faults than a map of California earthquakes.

I am taking a nap beneath your covers.
Wake me if you like me.
Wake me if you want me
Wake me if you need another poem.

Your once and future lover
has made himself at home. '

'I remember the first time
you named me "Good morning."

And how, the night before,
you considered my ceiling,
where the passing cars outside
cast their shadows and liquid lights
through the slats of my blinds.

You said: "Hey Romeo--
your CD player is skipping again...
but your ceiling's like fireworks for poor folks!"
And I liked that.

And I like your theory,
that men and womens shirts button on opposite sides,
So couples can get dressed facing each other.'

'And i swear to God,
If I could swear to God,
I'd ask her what the fuck she was thinking,
When she gave us free will,
cause we done fuck things up.

I stood in front of a mirror,
until my pupils became pupils,
and i could teach myself to live a better life.'
-Flashy Words-Shihan

If there is any time you can't find me,
Don't worry,
I'm probably hiding out somewhere counting my blessings,
mumbling something about sunshine,
wondering how much love i could live in a life time.

We live a love that God would envy,
And for her i would carry the cross for my own crucifixion,
If it would make her have more faith in me,
And i would hang from that cross,
And you could pierce my side with a spear,
And i would just bleed more reason to love her,
And i could die on that cross,
And you could bury me in a tomb,
And i would rise at the 23rd hour,
Just to show i couldn't go a day without her.

I would go toe to toe with eternity,
For the rights to her next life time,
Cause i was the only one made for her'
-In Response-Shihan

'I want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are,
The lines on my palms don't give me enough time to love you as long as I'd like to.

I fantasize about stepping out on a green light,
Just dying to get hit by a car,
Just so I could lose my memory,
Be transported to a third world country for treatment,
somehow fall in love with you all over again in another language,
just to see if it feels the same type love'
-This type of love-Shihan

'Who was king James?,
And why did he feel it was so vital,
To remove chapters and make his own version of the Bible.
They say Hell is underground Heaven is in the sky,
They say that's where you go when you die,
But how do they know?'
-Talib Kweli

"England, you have been here too long,
And the songs you sing are the songs you sung
On a braver day. Now they are wrong."
-Voices Against England in the Night, Stevie Smith

'Not in the hands of boys but in their eyes ,
Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.  '
-Anthem for Doomed Youth-Wilfred Owen

'With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
England mourns for her dead across the sea.
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.'
-For the fallen-Laurence Binyon

'If any question why we died,
Tell them because our fathers lied.'
-Common Form-Rudyard Kipling

'Yet portion of that unknown plain
  Will Hodge forever be;
His homely Northern breast and brain
  Grow to some Southern tree,
And strange-eyed constellation reign
  His stars eternally. '
-Drummer Hodge-Thomas Hardy

If you're a mathematician then it's simple,
You count how many steps it takes for her to come upstairs to bed,

Count how many times your eye goes to the door when you're expecting her home,
When she says 'how much do you love me?',
Be able to answer her back to the decmial point.
Calculate the area of a heart using imaginary numbers,
And explain how a muscle the size of two fists,

Can expand itself wide enough to hold fast the heavens,
devise a formula for love,
Whereby the weight of your devotion squared,
Times the amount of times you have kissed along her spine,
While she is asleep,
Is equal to all the happily ever afters in then world.
And I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't a mathematician'
-Steve Connell

'He told me,
I'm not allowed to get angry,
because I'm white, I'm a male, I'm sraight,..'
-Death From Below-Dan Sully & Tim Strattford

Ok, i've spent forever trying to get rid of the gaps..and i can't..sorry.