We're always told peer pressure is bad.
Envy is a sin, right?
I'm an incredibly jealous person. I don't think it's possible for a relationship to be 'open', I'm needy, I over think everything, I'll often weigh up how likely it is that what someone is telling me is true.
What are their motives? Why would they lie? Is this my paranoia or my intuition?
But right now it's jealousy that's driving me. Without jealousy, peer pressure, expectations, a 'norm', I wouldn't get anything done. Yes I have my own goals, expectations of myself, things I'd like, but It's wanting to have what other people have that makes me actually do things.
The fact almost everyone I know is in Uni, or have better exam results than me, or have things I want drives me, it doesn't make me want different things, but it makes me actually do things.
I mean jealousy is viscous, it can smother people, and it can ruin relationships, but in some ways it makes mine better. If someone is getting close to your partner and you're not jealous, then you don't care enough (just an opinion obv, but that's how I feel). Maybe it's just me, but if I'm with someone, then I want them to myself, I don't want a gf that flirts and acts couply with a bunch of other people. And luckily I've got someone i trust, someone I know is all mine, and that makes me appreciate her so much. If someone is only with you, and they've chosen you, it makes you want to step your game up, and be impressive. It makes you want to be better at everything, and better than everyone.
Nothing in particular lead me to writing this, just a random analysis of a character trait of mine really.
I think jealousy can be inspirational and more importantly motivational. Which is good cause I have it in spades. If you know me, I've almost definitely been jealous of you for one thing or another. It's an ugly characteristic to have, but if you use it to your advantage, rather than to spite other people, I think it can really change you.
xxx
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